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[29 Oct 2006|09:30am] |
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So I'm making a new LJ, it's thesesummrscars.
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[05 Oct 2006|07:24am] |
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mood |
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 content |
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Why do I feel like I'm going crazy? I don't know if it's the stress of fulltime work and then taking on fulltime college. Yes, I am going to college, and no not CCRI. I'm going to Johnson and Wales.
So Jackie just left, and that's why I'm up so early. She really is a fantastic girlfriend, and I really am happy. ♥ Maybe I'm just getting freaked out cause everything's actually coming together in my life. I'm not used to everything actually being okay. I'm happy though. It's just different...
Good news is me and Kristine are getting our matching tattoos =] I'm excited.
Andddddd my birthday is in a month & 14 days! The big 20. I feel old.
♥ Everytime I think of her, and what when on that night. I don't see it, instead I hear it, a song so awful and so perfect...
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[03 Oct 2006|11:06am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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I ♥ my life!
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[13 Sep 2006|12:27pm] |
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I don't want to go.
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[12 Sep 2006|09:20am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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I'm leaving on Saturday, for two weeks in Pennsylvania. I have a new position with Best Buy, w/ the project team. So I'll be traveling a lot for the next 2-3 months. Obviously this is going to be a great life experince, but hard for Jackie and I's relationship. I'm sure we'll make it through it. It's just going to be hard, I have so much on my mind right now. It's going to be weird for awhile I guess....
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[31 Aug 2006|07:32pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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My life has completely changed in a week. I don't even know who I was and who I am now.
Let's start-
Jackie and I are now offically together, and she comes home on Saturday. I really can't wait to see her. I'm glad to be dating someone who I've known, and who understands me.
So in about the next 1-3 months, I'll be moving out, and moving in with Jackie. I've completely, changed, I don't want to be with anyone else, and I want this to work. I'm done with the games and the multiple girls and all the games. So for all those who think that I'll never settledown, well here you go, here's proof.
Things here at home, haven't been that great, just lots of things going on. Especially now that they think my mémère has breast cancer, again. Things are just getting hard. Can't wait to move out and be with Jackie. I'll be moving to Providence and such.
I guess now is when I was went to change my life. I look back on all the things I've done, some I think I wish I hadn't done, but if I hadn't, I wouldn't be who I am now. So I guess I don't really regret anything at all. Jackie is an amazing girl and I'm really lucky to have found someone who loves me for me, and isn't trying to change who I am. Doesn't care that I like to play video games or drink lots of soda. She loves the way I like to make your mom jokes and staying up till 3am, and that I love to hang out with my best friends.
So this is the new me. I'm a completely different person, and it's crazy to think, in 3 months I'll be 20 years old. My whole life is about to change. Thanks to everyone who's stayed by my side, I love you. :)
And of course I ♥ my Jackie <3
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[28 Aug 2006|02:36pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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I'm completely happy now, with her in my life ♥
This is the best feeling, you could ever imagine.
To be with someone you actually got to know, for almost a year.It's the feeling of being complete.
♥
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[20 Aug 2006|10:47pm] |
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I've honestly given up on you.
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[17 Aug 2006|08:07am] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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All I have to say is, even after a year you still give me butterflies. :) and I couldn't be happier. ♥
On another note, um my throat kills so you might wanna stay away from me cause I'm real sick and I'm like dying. haha. I really don't want to go to work at 10 but I must :( I think I'll stop and get a coolatta for my throat & some cough drops cause this really, really sucks.
♥ I'll never let this go, but I can't find the words to tell you. I don't wanna be alone.
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[14 Aug 2006|01:56pm] |
funniest thing I have ever seen/made
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[07 Aug 2006|09:53am] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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So I have updated since the end of July. It's now August, and being back at work sucks. We have tax free weekend this weekend :( I have a 13 hour shift Saturday 6am-7pm. Which is really gay and I'll be exhausted.
So I guess Michelle and I are soon to be together. Which is cool for sure. A girl who actually doesn't care that I play video games, and actually LIKES my plugs. :) She's def. a cool girl.
Alicia's party the other night..oh..my..god. LOL that's all I have to say. It was crazy but the most fun I had in a long time!
So I really need a car and a new cell phone. Hopefully getting a new one soon!! Hopefully things will start looking up for me..I sure hope so.
Oh and to the little indian girl who wanted me to update, there you go. ♥ haha.
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| /sigh |
[25 Jul 2006|08:33am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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I'm trying to put on a smile, I really am. It's just so hard, but I guess I'll make it through.. I'm going to have to, but it's so hard now.
It's too late cuz she's gone
Gone...gone...gone
Don't think she's ever coming back
It's killing me
That I let her heart down completely
I should've gave her all of me
She's gone
Gone...gone...gone
She ain't even thinkin' 'bout me honestly
Being strong to carry on ain't easy
Gotta face it she's gone...gone
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[19 Jul 2006|08:23am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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Today would have been 1 year...
"I'll walk to your house through the snow. I'm coming to let you know I want to kiss you so hard it hurts our lips to let go. I spent the last year pretending that I was something. It's true - I'm nothing but weak when you're around me. I feel fake. I'm covering myself with the snow so I can cover mistakes I've made. Just once, just once can we forget about the things that I've done wrong. Nothing more than friends for now. We'll see how things play out. Oh, you've got something. Will I go down as the one who changed your life forever? You're in my heart so you can use it as a mirror. I'm coming to your door to tell you exactly what I need you for. I can't wait for the weekend to see you anymore. I don't except you to choose one week of fun over nine months of love."
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[09 Jul 2006|10:55pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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This is going to be an emotional entry, so if you don't want to read, stop now.
So, now that Ashley and I, are completely over. Now that she's back with Gordon, and living her life with him, I have to put mine back together. Granted, I'm grateful for what she's given me. The first time in my life, I felt really good about myself. She made me over come a lot of obsticales in life, and I thank God everyday for that. I'm a new person, and my life, it's going to be good. I realized, I have the ability to change my life into whatever I want it to be. Although, I can't stop crying right now, I know,I'll be happy in the end.
Then there's you, and I know you'll read this, you always do. I don't know why, or what, or how we became to be in each other's lives, but it's been an emotional, "almost" year. All I want for you, is true happiness. Who it's with, I don't care, but I hope you find it, cause that's all I've ever wanted for you. I'm sorry I wasn't perfect, and I couldn't give you that. All the fights, all the tears, can't replace that first week of "us" and all the following memories. I guess we just couldn't get it right, doesn't make me love you less, if anything, more. Don't forget it, I'll always have a place for you in my heart. I love you, regardless of our past.
But, for now, it's time to focus on me, and spend more time with my friends. I thank God, that I have Kristine, for all the years. Now that we're getting older, and she's getting married, make me regret all the time I didn't spend with her. I know I can't make up for lost time, but I'm sure as hell trying. I love you Kristine, so much, you're like my other sister.
So I guess that's all really, to my entry..
"It's really good to hear your voice
Sayin my name it sounds so sweet
Comin from the lips of an angel
Hearin those words
It makes me weak
And I
Never want to say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel"
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[08 Jul 2006|12:41pm] |
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Tattoo today :D
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[07 Jul 2006|11:28pm] |
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mood |
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 hyper |
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Just kidding. You bitches can't keep me down.
ALL NIGHTER TIME
and then tattoo tomorrow!!!!!! ♥
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[07 Jul 2006|11:07pm] |
| What You Really Think Of Your Friends | | Michelle is your soulmate. | | You truly love Michelle. | | You consider Ryan your true friend. | | You know that Lew is always thinking of you. | | You'll remember Corey for the rest of your life. | | You secretly think Ashley is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. | | You secretly think that Jay is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. | | You secretly think that Ryan is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Ryan changes lovers faster than underwear. | | You secretly think Kristine is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Kristine has a hidden internet romance. |
wtf lol
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[07 Jul 2006|07:57pm] |
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I'm defeated.
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[06 Jul 2006|03:48pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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"Wolf In Sheep's Clothing"
You're throwing everything you have at me
Cheap shots, low blows, will you ever let it go
You're so pathetic, give it a rest
You're not gonna win, you're never gonna
You love the sound of your own voice
And the crown of death upon your head, come on
You and all your royalty, on the edge of infamy
You're going to taste my fist
You're so good at stretching the truth into a sugar coated lie
Everyone takes a bite
I have been dining with the enemy
It was a wolf in sheep's clothing, now it's so clear to me
I've had enough of your games
If you're not trembling you'd better be
Cause we're gonna be the end of you
I've had enough of your games
I'm gonna show them who you really are
I can tell you right now, it wont be pretty
I can't convince anyone, anything
Provoking the anger of, a jealous god
Still you spin a web of lies, fear, lust, pride, greed and shame
You said no one, oh, you said no one escapes the pain
I've had enough of your games
If you're not trembling you'd better be
Cause we're gonna be the end of you
I've had enough of your games
I'm gonna show them who you really are
I can tell you right now, it wont be pretty
I'm a coward not a fighter, disguised as a lover
In disguise, in disguise
For so long now, you held me down
You held me, you held me down
You held me down
You held me down for so long
But its not gonna last
Cause I can see right through your beautiful eyes
I've had enough of your games
If you're not trembling you'd better be
Cause we're gonna be the end of you
I've had enough of your games
I'm gonna show them who you really are
I can tell you right now, it wont be pretty
You're throwing everything you have at me
Cheap shots, low blows, will you ever let it go
You're so pathetic, give it a rest
You're not gonna win, you're never gonna
Yeah, that's to you.
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[03 Jul 2006|10:19am] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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So I'm out of work for another week, since my back has gotten much worse. I have to go to the chiropractor now to hopefully fix all the problems in my lower spine/back. :( I just want to feel better... :'(
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